why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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