Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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