forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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