And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
