It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
