i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
