So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
