woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
