those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
There r osticjed everywhere
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
