My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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