I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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