Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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