i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
