Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm having to shit out rocks
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
