I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
