when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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