question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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