I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize