I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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