Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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