I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I want a musical about memes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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