she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
