New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
