I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
try to milk me bitch
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
