Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
