I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
