I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
