I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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