he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
