so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
