And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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