Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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