Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
