Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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