Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
