i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
