You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
