you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
