his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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