Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
