carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
