let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am one with the molecules
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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