I got chris browned last night
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
