i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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