just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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