Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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