I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
