If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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