If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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