He disabled his match.com account in front of me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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