i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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